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written 19 May 2005 while the sun tried, at least, rising

The thing about being an adult in our society is that it’s completely missing the point. What are the indicators of finally achieving adult status these days? A good job and getting married and having kids and buying a house and saving for your retirement and always saying please and thank you to the point that the words don’t mean a thing and having the courteousy to eat all of your food when visiting the in-laws so that you don’t offend them when, hell, you don’t want to eat that much food. Christ, think about the size of your stomach.

I watch all of these rites of passage on TV or remember stories from when I was younger, 12 year old desert native boys eating peyote and going on spirit quests or those Africans who tie vines to their ankles and jump from fifty foot high towers to prove they have no fear… I’m not sure how this fits in, but I mentioned it anyway. You might be able to find a correlation.

But there’s nothing adult about pretending to enjoy something you don’t like, or giving up yourself for someone else’s happiness. A person can’t live their life in order to save another’s. All we have is our own happiness and as selfish as that sounds, if you are not happy then no one around you aren’t contributing to society in the way that I think everyone should, by giving off a true and realistic impression of who they really are.

If I knew that people didn’t like me from the beginning, it would be much easier to divert myself away from them. It’s not as easy as that, but it could be.

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A lone soul responds...

  • ah huh. i think it’s because to most americans our jobs and our individual interests and activities are what’s important. the only time other people become important is when they get upset with you. so we go to birthday parties because of tradition but no one but the immediate family wants to be there; they’d rather be getting work done around the house, etc. and all they can think about is what a waste of time this birthday party is. as soon as people won’t be offended if you didn’t attend, people wouldn’t attend. so why get involved with being yourself when it may mean that you’ll have to spend a few minutes explaining yourself to the lady in front of you in line at the grocery store, just to prove that that is how you are and that you intended no insult. if that happened the people behind you would get upset and you’d be there for twenty minutes. just say the polite fake things so you can just get in and out. as you say, nathan, when you (pl) aren’t happy you hurt society. these people usually don’t keep up the simple politenesses and they are seen as causing trouble, but they really just need some help and attention and so they go against the grain to get it. but most people figure that they’ll just avoid that ‘weirdo’ and hope he gets some help for himself. this also makes it hard for people who aren’t weirdos but also care more about others than most other people do. maybe like you, nathan. probably, you come off as rude or weird and this scares people. it happens because, most people who are of general physical and mental health would just go with the flow and conform to our society and the way that most people were brought up and just behave more reserved when it comes to strangers. personally, i’ve had a lot of trouble growing older because i was taught that above all other relations, show respect to all elders and all strangers. and this i upheld, even if i constantly bickered at home with my immediate family. and so when it came to interacting with adults as i got older, i was used to be completely fake and polite and it is really a hard habit to break. finally things are starting to shake out a little bit and i’m finally allowing myself to use my logic and personality in a conversation. i was just so fearful of breaking my mother’s rule. anyway, that’s way i wanted a job like i now have. one where i’m in charge and i help people and explain things to people all day. i knew i needed to feel like i belonged with older people. the thing is is that i belonged there when i was 16. i think i was smarter and more logical then. in these ways i have been immature. what it has gotten me though is a perfect track record. i’ve really never offended anyone and i haven’t been in any trouble. the reason i wasn’t in gifted wasn’t because i didn’t make the score. my sister was in it and i crused her score as was later evidenced when my parents told me after highschool. i wasn’t in with those kids because mr. lapinsky or whoever judged me said i was too immature. ha, he was so right. i would have only regretted being in that class and getting more work. it wouldn’t have helped me a bit.

    and that is the thing about being an adult in our society that is completely missing the point. i say that as a joke at myself for probably straying too far from the point in this comment. but when it comes it comes

    - chad was marco | 11:11am 19 May 05

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