How to be a good person
written 31 May 2005 in the early afternoon
About a year ago I resigned myself to living selfishly. It became apparent to me that I was working very hard at making certain all of the people in my life were pleased with who I was and what I was doing. I noticed that I had a thousand different personalities, one for each family member, each acquaintance, my co-workers, boss, my girlfriend and my son and even my friends. I felt like I was betraying my true self by putting on all of these little shows and conforming myself to the people I was interacting with at any given moment.
So, with a bit of effort, I resolved to putting myself first. “Nathan,” I said, “you need to make certain that you’re happy, because without you being satisfied with your own life, you’ll never be able to give off the good vibe karma that is essential in making the people around you feel happy and loved.”
“Cool, okay,” was my reply.
At first it was very difficult for a lot of the people in my life. I was shedding excess friendships and acquaintances who were nothing but leeches. As a result, I have far fewer people to hang out with on a Saturday night, but the handful I’m left with are very genuine and true friends. I’d trust them all if I ever found myself in the position of being in a coma with a suitcase full of money chained to my ankle and a rusty saw in their hands.
After getting over the initial hardship of having to let a lot of people down, as they had expected so much from me before, and now all they were getting was what I would give myself, I found life to be an easier, safer, less hectic experience.
Sometimes I start to slip back into the role of wanting to please other people because it’s easier, much like telling a lie is often easier than explaining the whole truth. I still do both, but my main focus is on keeping me happy and then I can be all of the person I need to be in order to make my son smile or my girlfriend blush.
Life is gorgeous and much too sparkly shine too go around covering it in various different clothes just so it won’t hurt the eyes of a few people who aren’t prepared to see sunspots. If they don’t want to get a little burnt, they’re welcome to avert their eyes and look back down at the ground.
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