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For a Lack of Good Faith

written 30 Jun 2009 over a light lunch

As I’ve been living in and around my hometown of Ebensburg, Pennsylvania for the past few weeks as we take a break from tumbling around the world, there has been much reflection mirroring up and around my brainstem as of late. I suppose the simple reality of being in the place I grew up, meeting old friends and watching as everyone compares themselves up: how did he do, how did you do and how do they relate to one another.

But more than such trivialities — anyone who’s made anything of themselves worth being knows that it’s better to be happy than any amount of worldly success — come up the idea of religion. It seems that just about everyone in this area, a small town surrounded by emptied mines and rural farmlands, is heavy set into their Church-going and Godliness. Many will assure you that they are not “religious” but simply “spiritual”, that they don’t live by the rules of the Church but by God’s rules. It’s all I can do to not attempt to argue it out with them, that without a Church there would be no Bible, and without a Bible what connection would you have ever had to God? But I’m not interested in breaking the faith of others, just dealing with my own lack of the stuff.

Some would think that to be of the agnostic or atheistic persuasion would be a life of simple, easy living, with no morals or Godly rules to abide. Of course, simply not believing in God doesn’t instantly leave you lacking in morals, and in fact it’s religion that makes life easier, giving you the benefit of the idea that even if you die, you’ll still have more time. Not just more time, but the best time, theoretically. In fact, the idea that Heaven is such a wonderful place would have you thinking more Christians would live insane lives, jumping out of airplanes, serving in wars, driving with reckless abandon, in hopes of an accidental death.

But the realities of not believing in God leave me with the inevitability that there may be nothing after this life. I can hope that there is, reincarnation might be nice (I recall a movie where a guy was reincarnated as the seat of a girls bike…) or even to be a spirit who can float through the galaxy with endless time to explore. Unfortunately, I’m lead more toward believing that there is nothing, that for all of the amazing consciousness, our thoughts, our achievements, our lives and how important they are to us, that we might simply be a fluke, and that there is no greater being waiting for us with 99 virgins or golden palaces. The finality of life is a daunting aspect, but it has one massive side effect: live now, because this is your only chance.

And I feel like I’ve done quite the living thus far.

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