Ooh Heaven is a Place on Earth

“Sooooo….” I say to myself, and you of course.

I’ve mastered the art of illusion. I’ve mastered the games of darts and croquet. I’ve mastered the odds of division as it applies to controlling circumstances, and soon I will have mastered time.

What, I prey tell, is next? To read a blog is to laugh in hilarity. You readers, who I suspect are dwindling as this is becoming a saga of my love life and personal ties, should take a moment to peruse the fine musings of this guy.

For those of you who like to know what the New York Times says about something before you read it, well, here are some quotes:

“Shizzle, utter shizzle.” – Hollywood Seducer
“I’ve seen bullocks with bigger warts than this guy.” – Gene Shallows of the pop band Broken Up and Sensual
“If life was like a box of chocolates, this guy would make you eat the chocolate through your nose. You know, ’cause he’s a real real bad ass.” – Eddie Murphy
“I’ve delivered alot of mail in my day.” – my local Postman
“Too Faboo!” – the New York Times

Maybe the New York Times said it and maybe they didn’t, but in order to prove that they didn’t you’ll need to read every issue ever. Good luck.

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