Great things that have yet to be invented:

1. Nanobot clothing that conforms to your body in a flattering way. So that those of us with rippling six packs can have our glutes and abs shine steel like through tight black leather, while the rest of the blubbering masses will be safely shielded in just a slight thin layer of vertically striped cloth.

2. Cell phones that connect all devices. You’re listening to a CD in your car, halfway through that killer guitar riff on track 6 and you’ve got to stop for smokes and a Nutrigrain bar at the closest KwikiCorner. No need to panic, thanks to WiFi and your cell phone’s speakers, you just click a button and now you’re blasting tunes like never before and all of the ladies love you.

3. Semi-circle rear view mirrors. Instead of having rear view mirrors that are flat planes and show you what’s out your back window, have them curved so that all of your blind spots are covered as well. This one would make me millions if I’d sit down and get the patent.

4. Living pictures. Not like those weak simulations of waterfalls that you see at malls, but full on views of some remote location. Only a short amount of video would actually be needed, maybe a week’s worth, with the trees swaying slightly and in different prepensities, and various little animals could come out at certain times, the sun would rise, zenith and set, rain and snow and the occasional wayward wanderer would appear. This would be a wonderful way to experience the desert while living in Alaska.

If you’d like to create any of these things, you can either do so on your own and totally screw me, or maybe do it and send me one – that should make us even, though I wouldn’t pass up a $100million check if it came my way.

Up Next: Edward Scissorhands comes out only on days like this.