Okay I know, but I deserve it, as follows:
PHONE: Ring a ding ding. Ring a ding ding.
OTHER END: Hello, Andy Warhol Museum.
ME: Hi, I was hoping to get tickets for the Joanna Newsom concert.
OTHER END: That’s all sold out, I’m really sorry.
That’s bullshit. I hate you Pittsburgh, you unknowing, unseeing, all foolish crowd of too good for your own football team hipster wackoids. Burn in your own decadent demise.
On the other hand…if any of you have tickets you want to sell me, well, I’d promise to have a word with God and have him redeem your soul.
Up Next: Pixie Goes Punker