Am I Fecking Crazy?

Originally Posted on February 24, 2005 Last Updated on November 20, 2006

You can’t know if you’re crazy until someone diagnoses you as being so. All of the schizos are walking around thinking they’re completely normal when they’re really living in completely out of control worlds, all up in their heads. Think about that. Until you go and have someone tell you that you definitely aren’t insane, you have no idea whether you are or not.

Of course, basically everyone is something, whether suffering from a mild case of depression (oxymoron?) or just being a clepto or something, whatever, everyone who allows a shrink to get inside of them on such a raw level will end up undoubtedly walking out of the office with an invitation to come back next week and “we’ll try and work through it.”

Up Next: SPAM of the Millenia

Discussion

olivia 24 Feb 2005

Ha haha! Oh man I love that you’re crazy.

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julie 24 Feb 2005

yea,i totally agree, in fact i think i had this conversation either on liz or chad’s blog at some point, but, really, sometimes i think some day i really will go insane, like i have these thoughts that i think that are telling me bad things (like i’m fat and ugly and stupid and everyone hates me, guess i’ll go eat worms) and now i know that these thoughts are untrue and i shouldn’t listen to them, but, whoa, what happens if one day i listen to those thoughts and believe them? notice i say thoughts and not voices because,i guess if they were voices then i really wuold be insane. i think i just morphed into chad in this comment.

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olivia 24 Feb 2005

Many people believe they can hear the voice of God in their heads, and that is accepted as totally normal. I’ve always found that interesting.

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ClickNathan 24 Feb 2005

When I was young and I’d pray, I’d expect to hear God talking back.

As I got a little older, I convinced myself that he was.

Then I realized it was just my conscience.

Then I realized there was no difference between God and my conscience.

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liz 24 Feb 2005

well, there really is no “normal;” people just exist on a continuum from unremarkable to charles manson. even the most well-adjusted seeming person has a few mental problems. the question is just… how bothersome are they? i’m sure there are lots of undiagnosed folks out there on the streets who fit several dsm-iv profiles, just because their problems don’t bother anyone else.

being diagnosed as crazy is cool, though, because it’s a nice excuse. like, you’re given permission to be rude and weird if you’re classified as having antisocial schizotypal avoidant personality disorder. otherwise, you’re just an asshole.

i like to exploit the fact that i have psychiatric labels as much as i can. it gives you an excuse to fuck up sometimes – you go from being a loser to “having issues.” so i’d say if you can get a label, go with it!

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chad was marco 24 Feb 2005

well isn’t this just a fun little room. i’d say you’re all winners, actually, because that’s all winners are are people that call themselves winners. i watched silver city. it wasn’t bad and actually i haven’t paid so much attention to a movie before in my life. once i rewound ten minutes to really get a grip of what everyone was talking about. but really people just want to be a part of a winning team. associated with those that seem better than them. so if you want subjects call yourself a king. problem in america (other places too i’m sure, i’ve got to remember we’re multi-national now) is that too many people know this now. sure there’s still some meritocracy to it but look at all the college grads out there. much dumber people are getting through and people don’t try as hard but older folks see them all as college grads and so in an interview it’s whatever your personality is. sell yourself you know. i hate that idea so bad. but i guess i sell myself to myself and that’s ok.

i don’t know. i’m trying to get to the idea that we can define what will be thought of as good and the internet will be the key perhaps. i think i’m crazy but now i think the world is too, so that’s cool. i think i told shawn or someone months ago that i could foresee us needing some kind of internet government or heirarchy or something and i am ready and on the watchout now for any new developments. and now i really am crazy()()()()()()()(without)

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chad was marco 25 Feb 2005

nathan, were you impressed by liz’s semicolon? i was. damn!

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ClickNathan 25 Feb 2005

Yeah, of all of the semi-colons I’ve ever seen, she’s got the nicest.

(winks then changes subject; obviously)

Okay so this Internet government, you should expand on the idea. Definitely. I need more info.

(waits patiently)

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julie 25 Feb 2005

first re: chad’s comment on college grads, i was just wondering yesterday about the whole point of college nowadays. i think i liked the idea better when not everyone went to college, only those who really wanted to. now it seems like everyone goes to college and if you don’t you’re really looked down upon and shat on by society, and then pretty much everyone who goes to college but didn’t really want to does spectacularly mediocrely (hah), so i was just sort of hoping that everything would be revamped, but that’s not going to happen. because a college is a business just like everything else. that sort of sucks doesn’t it.

and also, i love semi-colons. i like to write a lot but i hate run-on sentences, so semi-colons are awesome. i don’t think i’ve used one in a while. maybe i should start.

oh what was the original post about?

also, i, too, am curious (commas, i like commas too. i

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ClickNathan 25 Feb 2005

Yes, I’m still waiting to hear what was meant by “Internet gov’t” before expanding too much on it all.

I will say, with regards to the gov’t getting involved in fighting SPAM, that I would just as much prefer it didn’t. It isn’t the gov’t saying “No SPAM allowed” that stops SPAM. It’s Adaware and Google and popup blockers that do it, mostly distributed for free by companies and individuals who are willing to make the world a better place simply for the idea, not the profit.

Microsoft only added pop up blocker to the new IE rollout after Google had already mastered it.

One of the biggest falacies with Windows is its lack of a built in virus protection plan. This is ridiculous. Eventually a company will build free virus control and do it in a way that it will catch on. It will probably have to be someone huge, like Google, but once they do…I mean, an operating system is important, but Microsoft is really overestimating the importance. Once people realize that Media Player and IE aren’t the only options, which they have and still are, Microsoft will only be on the sinking end.

It happens to everyone. Remember when there were MACs and IBMs. And now if you said IBM Compatible you’d be laughed off out of the Magic Convention.
________________

And as far as grammar. HAH! I laugh at it. No, really I just am the master of it. If it at times doesn’t show, it’s because I’m beyond the teachings of high schools and M-W, I’ve achieved perfection with the written word and now all that is left is to manipulate it and help it evolve.

Chad is quite excellent with this as well. Chad is a boddhisatva in disguise. I’m not sure if he can even see through the disguise.

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julie 25 Feb 2005

hah, nice use of the horizontal rule.

also, well, little nit-picky bit, but it’s not spam regulation i’m a proponent of, but bills that are being proposed in congress to allow prosecution of adware/spyware/malware companies (not popups or spam or viruses). MOST popups/spam->viruses, which can be avoided by MOST people with knowledge and discriminatory clicking. adware/spyware/malware is software that is installed on a user’s computer without that person’s permission or consent. malware is the same, for illegal purposes. the bills in congress at the moment (last time i checked, this could change) are designed to make this totally illegal and prosecutable, hopefully eliminating the spyware problem. however, since there are already several of these anti-spyware bills out, all with appropriately um..appropriate acronyms, chances of picking one and passing it are slim. too bad. also, someone tell me if i’ve got this wrong here, but i’m pretty sure that’s how this whole thing is panning out.

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quiddity 25 Feb 2005

Being diagnosed as crazy also has its drawbacks; for instance when you try to get a job or try and explain away the reason why you just smashed all the light bulbs in the office. Still, i wouldn’t want to change…

Grammar is not about the narrow minded little pop-ups which appear when you use the spell check on Word. It’s about using a few basic principles to be endlessly creative. In this way grammar does govern our language but it is not prescriptive or authoritarian. Grammar describes the language you use, so i guess it is always one step ahead of you. I like to trick grammar sometimes by using abecedarian order but i suspect that it never truly works!

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Anonymous 25 Feb 2005

So about a month ago I moved into my new apartment. That very same day an old white man, wearing a brown 70s suit with an aweful orange,yellow,and tan funkadelic shirt, walked up to me and told me that he was being “kicked out” because the building will now only house students. I felt really sorry for him and everything, because he seemed like an old man that had no place to go.

Until…

About three days later, I see that same man in the laundry room, wearing the exact same outfit; but that really didn’t bother me too much, until he decided to wip out his new stamp collection.

He had some stamps with insects on them, another sheet with black history on, another sheet with babies or something weird, and another sheet with dogs and cats. He really took his time showing me ALL of the and I was stuck, trapped inbetween the row of washers and dryers listening to how much he enjoyed these stamps. After presenting each one he should have said “hoot!”, infact, every old person should say “hoot!” for no reason at all. (Now when you’re walking down the street you have to picture them doing that, it’s such a blast.)

Now these stamps were brand spanking new and this man has to be in his 70s or 80s, after each time he showed me these stamps, he said “these will be worth a lot some day, I’m gonna be filthy rich.” Then he proceeded to tell me of all the money, gold, and various treasures he has stored up in his apartment. Yet he wears the same outfit and hangs out in the laundry room, EVERYDAY!

Now if that man believes that he is rich and going to live forever, how can he remotely think that I am interested in the $35.00 worth of stamps that he just purchased from the post office?

But being a nice person, now I have to listen to everything he tells me about his uneventful day, because I feel bad about him being old and having no one.

So I guess the moral of the story is…well you’ll figure it out.

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ClickNathan 25 Feb 2005

wow. hahahaha. I just realized what abecedarian is. I don’t believe it is true, but obviously it is.

A B C Darian for those of you still not grasping. Not to look down at you, it took me a minute too.

How hilarious.

Anyway, yes, quiddity, you have wonderful things to say about both subjects.

I still wonder at what level a person who, oh lets say, smashes all of the lightbulbs in the office, is responsible for their behavior. Being crazy may make you different but it doesn’t make you any less responsible. In my eyes. I could easily be convinced otherwise, try if you’d like.

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ClickNathan 25 Feb 2005

OMG! WTF?

I hate those sorts of things. LOL and all of that.

Once you realize that I hate them, or have hated them, gotten past it, and now just see them as hilariously dorky and therefore completely useable, you’ll figure it out.

Yes, anonymous, I’m speaking to you. I have no idea if you’re the same anonymous from long ago or not, and I actually think you’re just some random person who perhaps has been around awhile but said nothing.

But I can’t imagine why.

You seem interesting to me, actually, I’ll give you top billing on comments in this thread, no small feat considering the things presented here, however you must realize that some of that is attributed to your mysterious nature.

All of that aside, that’s sooooooooo kewl that you met a rich crazy guy who has refused to move and so is now content on living in the laundry room.

I know, really I do, but that is the way I’d like to imagine it.

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quiddity 25 Feb 2005

Nathan, you have grasped in about two seconds what i have spent years trying to explain to drs. Namely that I am no more crazy than the next person, simply because i choose to ignore certain socially constructed rules. I smashed the light bulbs because it was fun, I liked the tinkling sound and the texture of the broken glass. The expense of replacing them was minimal and the release of frustration optimal. Plus, i ensured they were replaced by energy saving counter parts and so I was effectively saving the world! Except certain senior managers didn’t quite perceive all these benefits.

Anyhow. i don’t wish to relinquish any responsibility for my actions.

Thank you for your perspicacity, a rare gift well used.

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ClickNathan 25 Feb 2005

No, thank you quiddity for giving me ample reason to use the “Define” function in Google.

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julie 25 Feb 2005

nathan, i love how i can read things you write and know exactly how you say them. it’s really cool.

also, i enjoy using fyi and btw and sometime imho, and even omg but in a self-mocking type of way. never ever ever will i use lol or wtf.

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st0nes 26 Feb 2005

Maybe some people are just suffering from a mild case of eczema‚Ä¶ huh‚Ä¶ think about that.

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chad was marco 27 Feb 2005

i’ve seen imho before, and i think i figured it out one time but…

i just figured out i

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chad was marco 27 Feb 2005

anonymous…REVEAL!!!

(waits a few days to see if he really does know magic)

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ClickNathan 27 Feb 2005

Anonymous is not going to reveal. Their are too many of them at this point. No one can claim the stake.

HAHAHAHA though. IMHO, someone just told me that the other day. I don’t even care to remember it.

It was like having an abreviation for,

Hey Chad how’s it going bro wanna hang some time?

HCHIGBWHSTMF

The MF would be for mother fucker, if I was really amped up.

Lots of love. You’re a sweetie pot.

And by that I mean that I’m laughing at you.

I heart? WTF?

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harwin 12 Dec 2006

Mmm… Good post 🙂 Will watch your blog

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