Yo Aunty Nathan, OML! WTH?

I think if someone sat me down and said straight out to me “Nathan, if you could design the perfect culture on the fly, right here and now, what do you think it’d be comprised of?” I’d have to reply…

“Well, Charlie, I think you’d need to keep it simple. One guy who takes care of the foodstuffs. What would be a good name for him? Maybe Tom, if that was his name. So Tom cooks all of the food and washes all of the dishes. He keeps the kitchen clean and his cutlery shined. Tom chooses what was on the menu and dag-nabbit Tom goes to the store and picks up the ingredients. Tom works hard, harder than most, he says, and so when it comes time for Tom to dish out the meals he always gives himself a little bit more than the rest.

“And I suppose there’ll be a taylor. For sexisms sake, we’ll say she’s a girl, a bushy haired gypsy-eyed type with a real knack for knitting the threads accurately and clicking in with the styles the others fancy for themselves. Of course, she has the most abundant and eclectic assortment, herself.

“And I imagine there would be The Plantsmith. The Plantsmith spends his days climbing in trees and rustling through the thickest gardens. He relaxes in the afternoon under the shade of his small vineyard and smokes the tea leaves he’s grown in his garden. The Plantsmith also chops wood for the fire, and there is always a fire when the Plantsmith is involved. He builds all of the furniture and fashions guitars and stools and boomerangs and all sorts of things. He’s quite good at building railings for stairs and nearly as adept at patching leaky roofs, but I think his best attribute is the ability to talk to trees.

“I can’t really think of anyone else you would need. Maybe a small errand boy to help out with a little of everything, do the most grueling work but then again his intelligence would probably be low and he’d be the sort to just love to do it for his pals anyway. ‘Good show, sport’ Tom might yell at him. I suppose the small errand boy would be most responsible for keeping the house adequately stocked with water, and he’d take this responsibility with no light air of a whim, that’s for certain.”

There was no,


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