Kings and Teens

So King Henry VIII took the throne at age 17, his older brother Arthur having died before getting the chance and his father, having gone the way of the leftover meatloaf. It’s my understanding that most kings were put into the throne very early, sometimes as young as 14.

But Prince Charles is what, like 50 already? His kingdom will be one in which he has no control, his reign will likely only be for a few years at most, considering that his dear old mum is still kicking quite well and so by the time she makes her meatloaf he’ll be lucky if his old body can raise a sceptre, let alone crown me Knight of the Disco Realm.

So I wonder if he’ll ever get to be king at all, or if – thanks to modern medical science – one of his sons will end up taking the big gold seat. And then as generations go on it will become accepted that there is always a generation skipped over – one day, around puberty, when the ways of the world start dawning on you (as the newest candidate for king), you’ll realize that you aren’t going to be the leader of the British Empire, but just a passover, just a link to having another child who will in turn get to hobnob with LA’s finest and the latest starving Indian martyrs…

In England, we call it “poking our bird.”

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