With all of the speech about Immigrant’s Rights and Official Languages, I’ve been completely unaffected. In this, my nothern mountain home, there is little concern about illegal border-crossings or the need for bilinguistics at the local cornerstore. However, on a completely different subject, I’ve been thinking about the concept of capitalizing the first letters of sentences and how completely unnecessary it is.
Let me begin with an example of the standard way to write a sentence, circa 1980 and before.
I am in love with a woman. (Begin next sentence.)
The first letter is capitalized to denote the beginning of the sentence, and a period plus two spaces is used to mark the end of that sentence. Redundancy at its best, and so at some point some authority on written standards, in its wisdom, eliminated the need for two spaces after the period (which was doing the job just fine on its own.) So why, pray tell, is it necessary to indicate the end of a sentence as well as the beginning. As with all things in life, a finite end to one thing implies a beginning to the next.
Also, just because someone did something first doesn’t mean they did it best. Columbus “discovered” the Americas, but we don’t live in the United States of Columbus. Thomas Edison invented electricity (it’s true!), but it wasn’t until Volume 1, Issue 46 of The Amazing Spiderman that the Shocker taught us all how to shoot the stuff out of our hands in attempt to smite our enemies. First isn’t always best, my good friends.
Therefore I propose this, a brilliant and moon-shattering new development in the written word which I will leave up to my following to adorn with a name (preferably with my name somehow mixed in to promote me or my website’s URL throughout history.) Instead of the unnecessary and mostly presentationally vain concept of capitalizing the first letter of the first word, let us capitalize the most important word(s) of the sentence. For the example:
i love Cream Cheese.
i Adore you.
let’s have a Beer.
come and Take me, you savage workhorse of a man!
if fortune Smiles on us, we shall propogate our journey with Legendary status.
the mall Sucks, let’s go to the galleria instead.
And there you have it, thank you all for your cooperation in adapting this method of communication, which in my mind will eliminate much of the confusion found on the Internet and other written mediums (if they still exist by the time of this publication.)
Up Next: Asian spies among us