Solar Terrorism Warning

The current war on terrorism is being lost. There, I’ve said it – now we can all come out into open discussion. While we’re liberating Iraq, making plans to free the government of Iran from it’s own mistakes, and plotting to build the largest Disneyland to date (tentatively titled: North Korealand), terrorists have hit us where it hurts the most – the Moon’s Sea of Clouds.

While NASA was distracted attempting to save the lives of astronauts (who are so desperately needed in space) they failed to prepare for the greatest threat to freedom since the eagle went bald – solar terrorism.

On May 2nd of this year (which communist China has attempted to blame on Dogs), a meteroid hit our largest silver satellite orb dead on. The impact was so great that it caused a crater. NASA reports numbers like 17 billion joules and 7x slow motion – dramatic figures indeed. This can only be the work of intergalactic terrorists, most likely under the guidance of Spanish Muslims or perhaps having something to do with medieval Templars and the descendants of Jesus & Judas’ gay love child.

The next step is obvious – explode the moon. That’s our only choice here people – and yes, I know some of the naysaying leftist hippie moon huggers will claim that this might have detrimental affects (not to mention effects) on our tidal system and women’s cycles worldwide, we need to send a clear message to terrorists, Earthling, Martian and Ferrengi alike – non-US instigated terrorism will not be tolerated.

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