Today, in Blogging
I wrote this song on my way to nowhere particular this morning:
The world is an angry mob,
but now and then we have a beer!
I can only imagine it’ll go superplatinum within the next 100 hours…
Also, after careful study of the human race on Liberty Ave, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA, North America, Western Hemisphere, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, I’ve realized there are X primary types of people walking the streets:
- Crazies. They walk irrationally, moving left to right, often quickly turning about face and always talking to some invisible other person.
- Cell Phoners. Similar to crazies, but holding a small plastic box next to their ears. With the advent of Bluetooth headsets, it can be very difficult to tell them apart from their crazier counterparts.
- The Focused. A stern look on their face, these folks typically wear dirty full-bodied jumpsuits with Norm or Ted written on their nametag patches, or else flannel shirts with a grey hood attached. Also, they typically adorn their heads with ball caps that have their fishing license or AAA membership attached. And they’re never without their trusty styrofoam cup of coffee.
- Loudmouths. Often carrying twice their weight in bubble jackets, they yell to unidentifiable “friends” across the street, shout for busses to “hold up” or sing rap lyrics uncomfortably loud and in your personal space.
- Baby Mommas. These strange creatures are constantly growing children, as seen by the large oven of a womb they squeeze between themselves and the double-wide stroller full of rugrats who never seem to be dressed appropriately for the season.
- Nurses. Never without their trusty cigarette, they prove that staring the inevitability of death in the face on a daily basis only increases your desire to increase the rate at which you approach it.
- Grad Students. Though apparently well to-do, having spent the majority of their adult lives in expensive schooling, they apparently cannot afford a haircut and are forced to wear all too tight clothing, presumably the hand-me-downs their poor cousins gave them in Freshman year of high school.
- Assholes. These types study everyone else on the street, judging them and wishing they could figure out which category they fit into.
Up Next: 1 Man, -1 Vote