Nail Polish on Black Boots

Have you ever wanted to be a part of something big, something important? Ever wished you were alive during the 60’s? Or joined the foreign legion to stop tyranny? Or owned a light saber?

Smoting evil, doing something important, or at least worthwhile, it’s always been a desire of mine. Sometimes doing something important has been confused with being someone important, but the intention was always inherently good in a karmic values sort of way. Nothing short of a cultural revolution would do, but where would I find one? The 60’s were nearly a decade dead before I even saw the light of my first hospital room and I wasn’t born in Cuba or China or any other Communismia and things seemed ultimately hunky-dory here in the United States of A.

But looking back and looking around, I can see how monumental these times are. We’re children of the Internet, and those of us who are twenty somethings were born into the thick of it – from sharing birth years with the original Atari system to when we got our first Tandy 1000HX at the age of 6 or diving into AOL chat rooms before I had a driver’s license…I grew up with revolutionaries like Mario and wielded a slick codename like InternetGuy25, and in fact everyone of our generation did. We moved on to Playstations and XBoxes and Wiis where video games were so much more than presents to keep middle school kids off of the streets, and the Internet has transformed our living reality into a questionable second life where neither world can hold more weight than the other. We’ve taken a drastic, if accidental, step towards eliminating landfill after landfill with old Mariah Carey CDs and Dark Shadows VHS tapes by turning our music, movies and books into digital nothingness, magickal representations of emotion, pleasure and time-wasting that can be as easily discarded as it is to ring a doorbell. And with that, we’ve crushed an empire, Big Music, where my band is as viable as Will Smith’s new record if I’m willing to work as hard at promoting it as his team would be. What started with Nirvana changing the format of radio stations across the country has eliminated the need for radio stations. Where we once paid extra to have Nike advertise on our T-shirts, the shoe company now pays me to advertise on my website (well, not literally this website…)

The revolution will not be televised – because it’s on the Internet, in your iPod, and in the hearts and minds of every single American walking the streets of our digital uprising!

And there’s so much more to ensure that our generation is eternal, that the people of the turn of the next millenium won’t just look back at us and say “Yeah, they got it totally wrong with Spiderman 2099” but will remember the Nathans, Chads, Bobbys and Stones of our time and images of the hybrid cars and farmer’s markets and photovoltaic panels will fill their minds (arcane as they’ll seem to a future-race).

They’ll remember how Greenland’s ice sheet didn’t melt and we didn’t sink Manhattan.

How we stopped buying pesticide covered food from thousands of miles across the world and became healthier individuals with stomachs full of organic fruits and vegetables. How we shed millions of pounds across the world as we walked more, talked more, thought more.

How we killed religionism and the wars it’s only good for.

How we stopped whining over losing American jobs to outsourcing and started realizing that everyone in the world is responsible for their own life, and if someone else can do it better/cheaper/faster than you’d better step up and figure it out.

How we ended the cycle of endless ghettos and Paris Hiltons by allocating welfare less and less until it’s eliminated, and making everyone stand on their own two feet. How we realized that tax cuts and tax exemption for the uber-rich are as much welfare as handouts to the poor.

How Red States, Bible Belters, and the Confederacy realized that they’re the driving force between holding on to a bitter and outdated way of thinking which only leads to their gay sons getting by on blowjobs and therapy in New York gutters or their daughters losing limbs to land mines in our fight against freedom.

How treehugging liberals and Democrat leaders quit acting like pussies and started making their points as they felt them, not as politics would best present them.

How our government in general was overthrown and started over from scratch, with the original ideals put in place when this country was just a bunch of ragtag soldiers who wanted to govern themselves, not the lobbying, vote-tampering, royal family that it has become today.


Up Next: Progression Depression