Wrapping it up, Monday

December 4, 2006 9:50am

Let’s take this world and wrap it up. Cling wrap the branches to the trees so that fall never has to leave. But I guess we’d miss out on the part of Fall that actually is, well, falling. But still, let’s tie up the animals so that they don’t eat eachother, stuff our kids into sacks and set everything neatly in a row so that, while we’re on our way to work and shop and coming home we can look at it all, so neatly lined up. Like a bird cage for the world. In fact, let’s put our work and shopping malls into plastic jars as well, so that we can forget how they’re actually unpleasant places of stress and turmoil and perhaps we can pose a few retail girls in smiling positions, slightly submissive but hinting at bit savings, or Bob from the mail room leaning against the water cooler in just the way to surefire remind us of how we’re missing out on some secret happy insider tip about why work should work out in our heads.

Once we have all of that neatly aligned, we could probably make space for ourselves, so as not to break the complete collection.

Up Next: Hiding in Tomato Saucings