My Hero, Lore Sjoberg

Tom Robins has been my favorite author since at least the time I ever fathomed the idea of having a favorite author. I’ve read maybe 20 books in my life, and eight of those have been his. Let’s just say that, after Tom, I couldn’t find anyone as interesting.

Until recently, when I discovered Lore Sjoberg, a writer for Wired Magazine. Here he is on some of his favorite toys from modern day grocery store’s:

Chuck E. Cheese’s Play Food Set

This contains a $2.50 coupon for Chuck E. Cheese’s tokens, and more importantly the implicit promise of your parents taking you to Chuck E. Cheese’s.

So that covers all but 79 cents of the $3.29 purchase price. What do you get for 79 cents? A plastic fork, a plastic knife, a plastic plate, a plastic piece of pizza that manages to look even less appetizing than actual Chuck E. Cheese’s pizza, an empty miniature juice box and an empty miniature mustard bottle. It’s the mustard that makes me sad. Unused, unusable, pretend pizza mustard. So tragic.

If that doesn’t make you laugh like an idiot in the coffee shop while everyone pretends like they’re not looking at you but as soon as you leave they’ll all be like “Was that guy on pharmaceuticals, perhaps?” then nothing, maybe, will.

Up Next: Mine Harris Grill, or, Lost in a City where Drinking No Longer takes on Meaning