Overwhelming Emotion, a Personal Tale of the Bitterestsweet
I can’t be sure what it is. As a youth, the teenage sort with ample time to spend and no money to spend it on, I was of frequent subject to bouts of extremes: falling in love with every girl who would shoot a spitball at me or finding myself in backyard brawls with the neighbors dog because he chased the mailman I’d hoped to bite.
Overtime, however and thank goodness, such emotions began to calm themselves down to a deafening roar of space lightning, so that I was at least able to control them for the good and pure majority of a day. I had managed to channel all of my rage and disappointment and disillusionment with life in general into the single topical focus of the ever destructive emotion of loneliness. It was a sinking utter depression that only a rubber duck stuck in the bowels of an ancient sewage system could ever appreciate, seeing the light of day through some small hole above but always trapped in the too thick of Roman human waste to ever hope to float out to see at last.
And as it always tends to do, time passed, and I found myself with or without love, until eventually settling on the former and happiness, I found, was on my side. Loneliness was replaced with companionship, a fear of a doomed future replaced with one of blissful uncertainty, and I went on as most other of my fellow sentients do, I suspect, decently intrigued, one might even say part of the Happiest People in the World Club. Yes, that’s me, in the Class of 2007 photograph standing just behind every pop star and Tom Cruise.
Alas, however, it was the Cheerio’s commercial which would inevitably destroy me. The tampon advertisement or the high school poem. The weakest of sources now, the least likely to instill emotion in anyone, have someone gotten into my core so that more than anything, a picture of a kitten licking an alligator’s fork will make me immediately break into song crying. What is this strange flutter of emotion and why has it only shown its head now, when I own not only a leather jacket, but have pledged to kick ass or rock on at least once a day?
If the struggle cannot continue, then let the struggle continue on…