Foodstuffs of an Industry Hospitalia

America is obese. Blame it on fast food, on cars, on our neverending quest to make everything easier. Republicans blame Obama, Democrats blame Lieberman. Regardless of who put the bob in the chicken’s head, you would think that hospitals would be a haven for healthy food. Indeed, I always assumed the reasoning behind hospital food tasting so bad was that it was good for you, that it was all spinach and brussel sprouts. Alas, such a grand idea as health food in a place of health is simply not the case.

I have very little appetite, having recently had a useless piece of infected organ connecting my upper and (my personal favorite) lower intestines cut out of me. It’s two weeks later and I now have a pair of tubes draining a sweet mauve cocktail of blood and puss from my innards. So naturally, I order a croissant and chocolate milk.

The croissant is good, light, easy to eat (though for some reason cut in half and toasted). Chocolate milk ingredients? Milk, chocolate, corn syrup.

Later that night I attempt to eat again: an orange, pretzels and pudding. The pretzels have corn syrup…savory, salty pretzels now need to be sweetened?! I skipped over the unlabeled pudding.

A few stellar items from the hospital menu:

1. Chicken Fried Steak
2. Fried Chicken w/ creamy gravy
3. Fried Catfish w/ mac & cheese

It’s like fixing a flat tire with a staple gun.

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