Will the Senator making the median income of his constituents please take the floor?

Politicians are evil. That is a well known fact listed on many websites including Wikipedia, Truthaboutevilpoliticians.com, mylesbianroommate.net and of course, ClickNathan.com. The type of folks who desire to get into politics are all too often just nerds who got bullied or bullies who didn’t know what to do with themselves after high school, individuals who love fame or power but rarely “good” ladies and gentlemen truly out to help the people they represent.

Were I in charge, and I’m not, but were I, I would make a simple law stating that politicians only made the median income level of the people they represent. So do you represent Jupiter, Florida? You’ll be making $200,000. Nanty Glo, Pennsylvania? $25,500. The President would make $50,233.

Additionally, any assets an individual had, such as investments in big tobacco or oil, would be frozen for the duration of your stint as a politician and for another 10 years after you career as a statesman was over. That way, the bastards wouldn’t make decisions that would benefit themselves over the people they represent.

This would add a much greater diversity to Congress, allowing them to work harder for the people they represent because it would benefit them at the same time. It would also make their monetary lives a bit harder (though keep in mind, they’d still get about 3 months of vacation, which none of the rest of us get), and in all likelihood begin to shrink that ever increasing gap between the uber-rich and the ultra-poor.

If that plan doesn’t work, however, I think we should at least force them to wear those old white, curly wigs like the forefathers wore, and not just in Congress, but all day everyday.

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