#1 Best Selling Album on this Website All Year

As many of you may know, I am not particularly a musician, though I once played the equivalent role of Sid Vicious in a couple of punk bands during my more mohawk-having days.

Nevertheless, I have written, recorded and produced my own album. First impressions from the various supermodels, superstars and supersized coffees I have pre-released this work of sound to have been favorable, ranging from statements such as “It’s like Folk Metal meets Hardcore Easy Listening” and “I would have sworn it was Elvis Costello had it sounded completely different.”

Accusations of derivatives aside, the record is now available in full mp3 quality glory, including a sleeve you can print out and hang alongside your other platinum, gold and silicon record collections.

Up Next: Will the Senator making the median income of his constituents please take the floor?