Interview with a Spare Tire

I was recently approached by an old tire, well, some might say a “yet to be newly used” tire, but I just call him Hogarth. The transaction went as follows:

Tire: So, you’re well known for many things, but not too many actually. What can you tell me about yourself?
Nathan:: Hmmm. Aside from the obvious, male human life form, Earth-born and rippling armpit hairs, there’s not a whole lot to me, I guess.
T: You’ve lived in an RV for the past year or so. What have you learned from that experience?
N: Cheaper is not always better. Faster is rarely better. Two lane highways are excellent.
T: Before you lived in an RV, I’m assuming you were still alive. What could you tell me about that experience?
N: I find that in life there is almost no end to the amount of breathing one must do. If you think about all the time you spend breathing, you’ll realize that about 99.9% of your life seems to be wasted on this one activity. Luckily, we’ve adapted to multitasking. For example, I’ve learned that you can breathe and type 113wpm at a time. No less, no more.
T: Okay and finally, where is the best?
N: Place? Where’s the best place?
T: Yes, definitively.
N: Wherever there is a nearly unlimited supply of any three of the following: beers, cigarettes, friends, fires, starlit wildernesses, rivers and rafts.
T: Thank you for your time, it’s been a pleasure.
N: The pleasure was all yours, I assure you.

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