Homeruns and Taquitos

Some new bumpersticker ideas:

  • “If you were in India, you’d have your job back by now.”
  • “Mexicans – because no one here wants to work.”
  • “Made in China – paid for by the US Government.”

But seriously, outsourcing and illegal immigration – are people still talking about that? Or is it just me and the folks at the party I was at last night?

I’d just like to sum up my feelings on this vital topic.

  1. For every Indian who takes away a job from an American telemarketer, that’s one more reason for an unemployed American telemarketer to get a better job.
  2. Outsourcing is nothing new – it’s what our country is founded on. Except we didn’t used to technically send the jobs overseas – we’d bring those workers here and still pay them nothing (or next to it). The Chinese built our railroads and I’m sure that at the time Charles Ingals was thinking “Oh fudge, Ma, they’re takin’ away my work!”. The slaves built our South.
  3. The reason that there is a market for illegal immigrants to work in this country is a simple thing called Capitalism. They’re willing to work for peanuts while we’re still insisting on free health insurance.
  4. Again, let me reiterate – for every crappy job sent overseas, for every manual laborers wages divided by ten and distributed to Mexican border jumpers, that’s another reason for Americans to become the creative elite in the world. We got to where we are largely because of leading the Industrial Revolution. We also played a large role, if not the match light, in the Technological Revolution. Our next logical step is to become the intellectual and creative powerhouses driving the worlds cultural affairs, science, exploration and medicine. No one ever got to the top by staying at the bottom. (Damn, those words sound wise.)

And now I hear a proposed plan to entice illegal immigrants to become legal by having them go back to their country of origin to apply for citizenship. The plan says that they’d have to pay their own way and that the process would take only a week. Anyone who’s dealt with immigration knows that these things don’t take one week, especially when you’re talking about the whole of the American Illiegal Immigrant populace. Not to mention that anyone with half a brain knows that the majority of illegal immigrants will view this as suspicious (if they wanted to go through the process, they would have done so to begin with.) and where are they all going to get the funds to fly home again and take a week off of work?

Well, so long and thanks for all the taquitos.

Up Next: Rebel without a Cowbell