Fashion is Theft

Fashion designers, graphic designers, they’re all a bunch of thieves. Of course, I fall in to at least 1/2 of one of those categories, if not more.

But I hear people say “the new fashion for fall is ____” – bull. Who declares what the hip new trend is going to be? Is it the public, or the designers?

I’d like to think it’s the public, and in many cases and for a large percentage I would have to agree with myself, but I can imagine two or three big wig fashion designers, with their spiky hairstyles, bleach blonde eyebrows and acting like they’re gay or foreign or both when they’re none of the sort, deciding that hip huggers are out and jeans that go up to your belly button are in. And then the next tier down, the pseudo-designers who long to be at the top, copy them with their own little flare, until every Gap, Target and WalMart in the country are selling the ugliest thing to come out of the 70’s.

I, for one, won’t stand for it, and pledge to find any woman wearing those jeans that come up to their navel completely hideous, so unnervingly disgusting that the very thought of them puts my stomach in wretches and causes me to keel over and vomit out the very thought the memory.

Up Next: Thanksgiving, Merry