The General Duty of Grandparents

In my 6+ years experience as a father, I have come to realize that there are three guiding principles to being a grandparent:

  • Purchasing your grandchildren endless amounts of crappy plastic toys, preferably promoting army dolls and their vehicles.
  • Feeding said children twice their body weight in Cocoa Puffs, Chocopuffs, Cocoa Chocopuffs and Fruity Cocoachocypoofs, or anything where high fructose corn syrup is the primary ingredient, on a daily basis.
  • Instilling the very values that the child’s parent worked so hard to overcome and rebel against in his own life.

Of course, in turn for these actions, the grandparents also supply the child with a near-endless supply of clothing, college tuition savings and babysitting time for the parents. So I guess it all about evens out in the end.

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