Help Wanted

Position: bosom Buddy
Requirements: A complete understanding of the ethereal nature of existence; Ability to coerce females into intricate discussions about nothing; A thorough appreciation for the benefits of a good hangover, and what that means to the prior night; Proficient in MS Word
Recommended: Slightly less attractive than me, for my optimal enjoyment should there ever need to be any decisions made over Swedish twins; Independent wealth
Duties: Participation in all night Pajama Party Jammy Jams; collecting, sorting and discussion on mailing labels with interesting nomenclature; accepting/making late night, drunken phone calls to confess “I love you, man”; occasional duties of a clerical nature

Please note that, as the sign says, long-haired freaky people need not apply.

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