In-depth Analysis of what Happened to the Pittsburgh Steelers, Superbowl XLV

Now, let me be (almost definitely) the first to congratulate the Green Bay Packers on their win yesterday, assuming that no one else has done so, or if they have done so, let me be the first one to congratulate them in Latin. Gr?tul?ti?!

Great, now we have the niceties and dead language translations taken care of, and we can proceed to my in depth analysis of what happened to the Pittsburgh Steelers during Superbowl Sunday Excelvee.

  1. Firstly, and I noticed this right from the beginning, the Steelers were wearing their white “away team” jerseys. It’s black and gold, not a little bit of black, a tiny bit of gold, and mostly white. That just doesn’t translate to good hip hop.
  2. Secondly, point #2. The Black Eyed Peas TRON dancers started out wearing green glowing lights. That’s nepotism, for sure (assuming that Fergie really is the father of the Packers, as this post news-breakingly reports).
  3. Cowboys Stadium is a dome. So no one really could even see those jets that flew over in the beginning, which kind of makes that pointless.
  4. I accidentally zipped up my hoodie at two key intervals in the game where the Packers made big points. It was likely due to my close emotional bond with the team that caused them to make knee jerk decisions and possibly not give it their all, or even 110%.
  5. Finally, Homeland Security seized several of the websites I typically use to watch football. Yes, there was apparently some type of terrorist threat ready to be downloaded by unsuspecting Americans. The terrorists have finally figured out that the only thing USofAers hate more than Muslims is football teams that aren’t their own.
  6. In light of these circumstances, I am sure that the NFL commission will see no other option but to have a “redo” or possibly a “replay” of some sort.

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